100 Thing Challenge and Discovery

I say, "I think I've lost my blue mechanical pencil." To which my wife responds, "So you mean you only have 97 things?"

Tonight I discovered a pitfall of the 100 Thing Challenge, the loss of sympathy. In fact, many people who know of my challenge no longer offer me any of the normal feelings of concern when they hear my thoughts about stuff. If I admit I'd really like a new-to-me Subaru Outback Wagon (as a random for-instance) they respond, "Oooh. What are you going to do? Purge an item? Resist the urge?" No one says, "Yeah, I know what you mean" or "I'd love a Volvo."

This is a condition of risk taking. When we go out on a limb, the empathy of others turns to curiosity. Feelings are set aside as other people search you for discovery. What will they learn about you? What will they find out about life, about themselves? Personal projects like the 100 Thing Challenge are conducted in labs. As often as I feel like I'm wearing a white coat and taking notes, I also feel like my white coat is made of fur and I'm locked in a cage for others to observe and notate. It's like being a voluntary lab rat.

Comments

[Su]

I suppose the upside here is that you are doing it voluntarily-- most lab rats don't get a chance to volunteer!

I hear ya on the lack of sympathy, though; my husband & I went without a car for about 18 months (more or less voluntarily), and the comments went from the "I'm so sorry you have no car" variety to variations on "You're stupid for not having replaced your car yet" in a matter of weeks. Nice.

[sarah]

It seems very strange to me that people are reacting in this way. Is it a sign that they feel threatened, do you think? I would think that if one were the kind of person with an unlimited number of things, wanting yet another would be the sort of thing one would respond to with little sympathy (as in "what's wrong with the other 8000 things you've got?").

Hearing this makes me feel pretty lucky, as I haven't yet run into anything this negative. But then I am still in the purging stage, and am so caught up in that right now that I don't have time to think about getting something new.

[Christy]

Some of my comments on your blog may come across as unsympathetic, but I think it's the fact that every thought has become a math equation that gets frustrating to read.

I totally agree with what you're trying to do (live with less and only keep what you need), but it's tedious since thoughts about your stuff have gone from an important process of prioritizing and purging to now a total obsession to keep everything within the numbers. There is no gratitude for your things anymore, because they have to be re-arranged and put into a formula at every turn.

Whenever I get snotty about my stuff, I walk to my fridge where I have photos of the 3 kids I sponsor from Rwanda, Haiti and Uganda - I'd be willing to bet I could collect their whole household's stuff and it would less than 50. I am blessed and I refuse to get caught up in the numbers to the point that I'm bitter or ungrateful.

[Dave Bruno]

Thanks for your thoughts Christy. It's hard, of course, to get the full story by reading my blog. For better or for worst, the 100 Thing Challenge involves a little bit of math. We'll see in the end if it all adds up.

[Leanne]

Never fear, husband! The pencil is found! (On the floor of the laundry room amidst piles of dirty clothes.) And, sorry for my calloused response to your initial fear that the pencil had gone missing. I will work on being more compassionate.

[Dave Bruno]

Woo Hoo! But, er, no need to be so apologetic. Being an ignorant man, I didn't really even connect my comments to you. But good think we have blogs these days, and don't have to work this out in a therapist's office!

[cindy]

i don't mind so much the unsympathetic-ness of peoples comments. (I decided a few years ago to do the "Compact" no buying anything new challenge) but the snickering, almost, I will ask you questions and see if you fail type questions. "what do you do if you need blankety-blank??" and the smirk to any exceptions I had made (I decided on gifts to children had to be new- most kids aren't used to thrift store gifts, except my kids). Its almost like they think its so crazy they want you to fail.